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Liz Cheney: Barack Obama is teh worst

April 9, 2010

Liz Cheney trying to explain why she's qualified to speak about politics

As President Barack Hussein Osamabama rolls out the dates for Apology Tour 2.0, Liz Cheney has decided to speak out against the tyranny of having to say your sorry with a stunning bit of speechifying that’s likely drop the average IQ of America at least a few points (Hey, it’s a start right!?). You see, she’s angry… she’s angry at Obama for leaving nasty voice mail messages on Gordon Browns cell phone at 2 o’clock in the morning telling him how much he hates him and threatening to nuke Britain… she’s angry at Obama for sweet talking Osama Bin Laden on their date in Venice when he sold Osama State secrets for ten cents a pop…  she’s angry at Obama for having that saucy one night stand with that crazy Mullah where Obama gave him our nuclear codes and told him to enslave white america…. she’s, well, you get the point.

When it comes to foreign policy, it looks increasingly like there are three pillars to the “Obama Doctrine” – (1)Apologize for America, (2)Abandon our allies, and (3)Appease our enemies.

Obama hasn’t killed enough brown people yet. Call me when he tactically nukes a random country in the Middle East. That’ll show those bastards.

In the era of Obama, American allies have their loyalty met with humiliation, arrogance and incompetence.

This is totally unprecedented. Never in the history of the US have our allies ever been treated with such disdain.It’s almost like he’s doing this whole “you’re either with us or against us” crap. God I hate that.

President Obama must not understand the most fundamental point about US-Israeli relations – the world is safer when there is no daylight between America and the state of Israel.

Why the hell is Obama acting like Israel and America are two separate countries?

Israel is not the only ally to have felt Obama’s wrath – last year the Obama Administration pulled the rug out from under leaders in Poland and the Czech Republic by abruptly canceling a missile defense system they had committed to host. We did so because the Russians complained.

And the rug was Persian, hand woven by the super secret Hidden Imam of the Nuclear Jewish Hating Islamic Jihad Republic of Iran, who Obama TOTALLY thinks is teh awesome. Coincidence? I think not. We have met the axis of evil, and he is Barack Hussein Obama.

Afghan President Karzai, whose support we need if we are going to succeed in Afghanistan, is being treated to an especially dangerous and juvenile display from this White House. They dress him down publicly almost daily and refuse to even say that he is an ally.

And then they rape him. Just sayin’.

There is a saying in the Arab world: “It is more dangerous to be America’s friend than to be her enemy.”

Totally. It’s way better to be Americas “friend with benefits” if you know what I mean. Sure you get screwed a few times, but goddamn does she leave a large tip.

And the president’s approach toward nuclear disarmament—unveiled this week– confirms the naiveté of his views of America’s enemies. Until this week, any enemy of our country that might be contemplating a chemical, biological or large-scale conventional attack knew they might face the worst in return: a nuclear response. We have now surrendered that powerful deterrent. The new strategy also prevents America from building any new nuclear weapons or using nuclear deterrence to defend our allies from massive conventional attack. Apparently the President believes that if we disarm and limit America’s options, Iran and North Korea will be inspired to follow suit.

And now what do we have? Oh sure, we still have the biggest and most technologically advanced military in the world, with bombs that can do the Daytona 500 in record speed before ramming themselves up the anus of an Arabian dictator and exploding as they reach the inner workings of his colon, but is that really enough? I submit, no. It is not. The ONLY way our enemies wont attack us is if they think we’ll nuke the entire region at a moments notice… or just when we’re really drunk and playing truth or dare.

And while the President works to limit America’s freedom of action, the Iranian mullahs are making daily, steady progress toward acquiring a nuclear weapon.

The Mullahs are building the nukes with their Islamic laser beam eyes, crafting the warheads out of burnt American flags and chopped up bits of immigrants. Soon they will have finished their first prototype of the Imaginary Jihad Nuke. We can’t let that happen.

He seemed far more concerned with the feelings of the mullahs than with the desire of the Iranian people to live in freedom.

Obama sent emails to the Mullahs telling them those turbans didn’t make their ass look fat too. I read that somewhere, for serial.

Ultimately, the only way diplomacy will succeed in halting Iran’s nuclear ambitions is if the mullahs understand, beyond a doubt, that America will take military action if they don’t comply peacefully.

Ultimately, the only way diplomacy will succeed is if we nuke their asses into submission first, THEN talk to them about all that diplomatic stuff. Peace is best achieved through total annihilation after all. God, am I the ONLY one who gets this?

President Obama, stop apologizing for this great nation and start defending her.

Obama is like an abusive husband, but even worse… he hasn’t even apologized for hitting us yet!

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